For the record I have 8 days left on the Whole 30. Single digits, people. But I am not here to discuss that today.
Right now there’s a popular trend going around on the book of faces, where you are given a number and with that number you list facts about yourself that few people know. One of my facts was this, posted at # 9: “I am terrified of retiring; I have no idea how to be anything other than a Soldier.”
Some folks balked at that statement, assuring me that they know, that I know, how to be more…but I’m not so sure of that.
You see, this is something that I have been struggling with for sometime. For years actually. It’s true that I am educated and I have a career and a skillset, yet I consistently struggle with determining my passion. What is that I was born to do? What is it that ignites me and pushes me to keep going?
I was reading an article (http://shaunaniequist.com/mother-taught/) and that article spoke directly to that end. Particularly this passage, “Sometimes I meet women who are so passionate they’re about to jump out of their skin. They want to get their hands really dirty and dive neck deep into something that keeps them up at night. They don’t know what to do. They don’t know how to move forward, so they’re vibrating with pent-up passion turning rapidly to frustration.”
I KNOW that feeling. I LIVE that feeling daily. I have so much passion pent up inside that I quite literally vibrate somedays, but I have NO IDEA what that passion is. I don’t know what it’s for or where to direct it. Or where it’s trying to direct me. It’s so overwhelming at times that it wears me down. Down to a point that I don’t know which end is up.
I guess the take away here is this:
“And this is what’s so hopeful: even if you still don’t know what you were made to do. If you’re just now discovering your passions and gifts, in your thirties, in your forties, in your seventies: there’s still time. There is still time enough, and more than enough to be done. My mom began in her forties. She is thoroughly alive in her sixties. There is enough time. The best is yet to come.”
I’ll keep reading and discovering and uncovering until one I find it. Or it finds me.
Triple Letter Score 